I wrote this poem..I don't know HOW many years ago..but I was reading some of the comments on my blog and Courtney helped me remember it. It made me think about the amazing leaps of faith we make in our life's journey...no matter how treacherous the terrain.

This is me a few years ago...

Ambivalent

Intrigue and curiosity facilitate my separation,
Enabling me to justify my ignorance without recourse.
I allow my heart to shadow a corrupt nation,
Taking hold of the wide and dispossessing the narrow course.

Intensifying focus erroneously hardens my heart.
Numbed character distorts eyesight true,
And mastered insensitivity plays its loathsome part.
Compassion abates; callousness augments in lieu.

Losing my soul to dark irreverent nothing,
Unknowingly giving in to every wicked desire.
Waking each morning with a longing for a new something,
Change that has its catalyst submerged in clay and mire.

Falling deeper into temptation's abyss,
My desire for change lessens each day; weakened want.
The life I have lived, to me, was ultimate bliss,
Which I bragged with every opportunity; fictitious flaunt.

Nothing compensates for my being having lack.
Emptiness abounds, leaving a gaping hole,
Which not one wicked satisfaction begins to pack.
Recognizing a war engages for my tormented soul.